Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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A seal walks into a club.

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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