wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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