Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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