Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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My mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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My Girlfriend

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops