What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

thumb_up thumb_down -25

BUTTERFARTING

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

the your face joke

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

My children are mistakes

thumb_up thumb_down -41

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops