A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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My mom just died....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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