Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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austins gay lolololol

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to the Holocaust A: Because he was Jewish

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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if u have a problem with this then comment !!!!!!!!!!!

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Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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This is not a good joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops