"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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What should I name my dog?

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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