Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Tim's gay.

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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An asian walks out of math class

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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