One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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Tim's gay.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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women's rights.

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops