Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo mama so fat she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops