Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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i hate you.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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boobs

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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like my drawing of a white person?

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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your mother is so lesbian

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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