What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Grapefruit.

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

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a mexican, an asian and a black are all in a car, who's the driver? their friend bill who offered to take them to the upcoming three days grace concert.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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sixty....eight.

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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austins gay lolololol

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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