What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

lewis bedford

Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

Time flies like a banana.

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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