What do you call Obama? - the president

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Amputations.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops