What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Women's rights

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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