Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

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Nickelback.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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