Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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Sea World Japan.

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like my drawing of a white person?

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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