How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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sixty....eight.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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69

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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