How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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