Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Nah

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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