American Idol

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

thumb_up thumb_down +1

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

thumb_up thumb_down -3

snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hello I'm a fat kid

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops