What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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co jo kurwa tocza?

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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