What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Do you know that car over there? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

666 im christian

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whoa! A talking carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

look left now look right. washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops