How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Teen pregnancy

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops