Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's white and sticky? Glue

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Like this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

balls in ya mouf

thumb_up thumb_down +12

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops