Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

thumb_up thumb_down +33

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whoa! A talking carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops