What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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A man. That is all.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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oops

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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