Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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sweaty black guy

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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