Hello I'm a fat kid

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

Anal cheese curds.

Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

Whats the difference........ between a duck?

Boobs are nasty!

what is white and red all over? a ginger

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

A black goes to college

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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