- Anti Joke

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

+11

"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

+11

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

What's red and green? A frog in a blender

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

Oh, I must be hearing things.

Poopsack Jones

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

8=D

Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

Obama.

An Irishman stays home

What's red and green? A frog in a blender

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

What's gay and gay? Joe

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Hey what time is it. 3:15

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??