What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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look left now look right. washing machine

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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