Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Don't rape me!

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Icecream

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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