What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

you just lost the game!

Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

Bumsniffer

Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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