"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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newt gingrich

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops