whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

Nathan Gooderson.

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

Brittney Spears

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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