Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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a black guy leaves prison

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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