I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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boobs

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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dead babies

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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