So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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Chuck Norris

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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aaaa

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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Your dad is so gay, he does not have a girlfriend.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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