How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

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BUTTERFARTING

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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minorities.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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