Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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come along children

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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Teen pregnancy

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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