What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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Grapefruit.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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