Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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No.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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Thumbs this up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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