Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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96

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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American Idol

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obama is a good president

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops