Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the mole say? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops