Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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