why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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a little girl gets raped

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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