If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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