Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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a little girl gets raped

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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