What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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Obama.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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