While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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Obama.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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