Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Sea World Japan.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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newt gingrich

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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your mother is so lesbian

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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