Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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