When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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